Rejections #4, 5, 6, 7: Slacking and Pamela might want to smack me

Alright, guys. I'm struggling with this, not going to lie. It's a combination of an unstructured life (freelancing without self-imposed structure, which is a general problem for me right now), lack of natural reasons to leave the house, and lack of planning ... BUT, I also think a big part of it is that the challenge hasn't been sitting well with me. I always end up feeling like I'm messing with people. I think that again, this might be a combination of lack of planning in that my last-minute efforts sometimes are more likely to feel like a game ... and just the nature of the game. First, lemme tell you quickly about my rejections.

With my friend Lucas at the fundraiser!

Rejection #4: I was at the GPP Fundraiser as a volunteer. Had a great time, go Georgia Film! I had agreed to stay until 10:30pm (90 minutes past the "end time") to help clean up. I was exhausted, my feet hurt, and people were taking a long time to leave. I asked a friend if he would stay in my place and help clean up after the party. He said "No" and laughed at me. I was not surprised for a few reasons, but the most of which is that he's had some back issues lately and he really SHOULDN'T be carrying stuff around for someone else.

To be honest though, the real rejection (according to my gut) was after that when he questioned my approach to Rejection Therapy and suggested that, according to my blog, I wasn't digging very deep and shouldn't I be asking people to coffee that I wouldn't normally ask?, etc. More on this later, but in the moment I was a bit taken aback by the constructive criticism and definitely felt rejected.

Rejection #5: This one is fuzzy. I asked my sister if I could come over and hang out on Friday night. She didn't say "No" exactly--she would never say no to me if I truly asked to come over and said I needed to. But she did seem to not want me to, mostly because she was tired. That's perfectly reasonable! But I pushed more than I normally would and she stuck to her guns, yet of course still finishing with, "If you really want to come over though, you totally can." Meh ... not really rejection, but I did push my boundaries.

Rejection #6: I asked a stranger in a bathroom line to kiss me. Unfortunately (or not?) the first person I asked said "Yes." So I kissed a stranger in a bathroom line. Yes, a woman. It was just a peck. This blog could technically be seen by anyone, so you're not going to get a completely forthright response from me on this, but I will just say that a small kiss to me is no big deal, woman or man, so I actually thought nothing of it. I asked another woman and she said "No," very emphatically. She said she had no interest in kissing a woman. Definite rejection.

Rejection #7: Last night I was tired after going out with my best friend the night before. She was tired too, but had a full day. At the end of it she was really glad to be going home and texted me as much. I asked her to bring me food. I really did want her to, but I also felt bad asking after her long day and it's not something I would normally do. But it's not really stretching my boundaries in a good way, in my opinion, because it felt WRONG as a friend to ask her to do that after such a long day. She said "No," but I have an inkling she was on to why I was asking :)

All-in-all, this is not going well for me. The challenge says to seek out a "No." Okay ... so you have to ask for something you expect someone to say "No" to ... at the same time, I feel like if I ask for something I don't ACTUALLY want, most of the time I feel like I'm messing with someone. This does not sit well with me, stranger or not. I think there are ways around it (like the guy who did Rejection Therapy and asked to play soccer in a stranger's back yard--and then had to do it when he said "Yes") ... but I can't say I want to commit to doing something that extreme everyday.

Okay, so then how many things are there that I can ask, that I WANT a "Yes" to, but that someone will say "No" to, that AREN'T messing with someone? To me it feels like a small list and a big challenge.

I'm considering rewriting my rules and I've talked it over with Pamela, but I'm not setting anything in stone yet. Let's see how today goes. I'm going to look for the right opportunity to push myself against the fear of rejection! It just might not be necessarily EXPECTING a "No" :)

Lastly, I would like to formally apologize to my partner-in-crime, Pamela, for being a bit slack these past few days and also not being communicative with her over the weekend! She's nervous I'm going to quit on her, and rightfully so. Trying to rededicate today, but in a way that I'm comfortable. More tomorrow!