Rejection & Therapy

So, let me start by saying this is my first blog ever. I've been interested in trying it out, but my fear of writing has stalled me to a degree. It's pretty much the same anxiety that, offline, leads me to sometimes come off as completely inarticulate and have trouble getting what I really mean out to the world. Those of you that know me are probably nodding in agreement right now.

It's also difficult for me to decide what to put out there and what to keep for myself. I think it's more important to tell you how it's working for me in the therapy sense rather than sharing every little thing that I do. This challenge, after all, is for my own growth. I actually thought we would do the challenge and write about it at the end, but since these girls are kicking my ass with their posts, I figured I should chime in with a week one-ish update.

Here's my experience so far. Sure it started a little weak. I thought it would be a good idea to download the coordinating app. Don't do that people, it's pretty lame. It has suggestions like 'send a friend request to someone you don't know'. Wow, thanks. That isn't helpful AT ALL! And maybe I'm unclear of the rules here, I mean, maybe we should define what we constitute as a rejection. Anyway, I started thinking at least I'm gonna try and get some things I actually want.

Here are a few:

• Asking the gas station in my 'transitional' part of town to carry Kind Bars and Naked Smoothies. They are currently more of a 40oz malt liquor and pork rinds, letting people smoke inside and play the slots kind of shop.
• Asking my credit card to lower my interest rate. I might try this with all my bills, why not?
• Asking for free head shots
• When the GA Power guys came down the street hacking all the trees, I asked them to stop. I don't like seeing this. And it reminds me of a conversation I recently had about dying and wanting to be made into a tree that can be planted, when the other person in this convo asked, 'What about when someone wants to cut you down to build a highway or something?' They told me about how you can get into this thing that will shoot your ashes into space and you come back as a shooting star. Sounds good to me.
• I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell you about this. The hardest one so far was calling one of my siblings to ask for my mom's engagement ring. I truly feel that I should have it, for reasons too complex to explain here. I reached out to this sibling twice and never got a call back. This will be a juicy topic for therapy this week.
• I'm directing/producing a short and webisode of The Lumber Baron of Jasper County, so I've had the burden of asking people to work for free. This kills me.
• And among a few of the lame ones, I ventured out with Jacki, witnessed her rejection and asked the waiter at Hand in Hand if I could take one of their  hanging ferns home. I'm not sure what the lesson to learn from these types of rejections are. Just seems like you are setting someone up for an awkward interaction. Makes me feel a little guilty. Maybe there's something there. I'll ask my therapist.

So, I probably won't be posting as often as my fellow campers, but I will be pushing my boundaries and updating you when it feels right to me and sharing what I'm comfortable. Until next time ...